The Sex Advisors

This issue is about writing business letters by email, which I know, seems a little contradictory. But we now use email daily in business and it raises the questions, when is a letter a letter? Or, what makes a letter a letter?

By definition, a letter is a written communication between parties, usually sent in an envelope. The features of letters are universal ie, they all have sender’s and recipient’s addresses, signatures, the dates sent and so on.

In recent years the practice of attaching a letter in word processor format to an email message has increased. Some organisations send an email instead of a letter. While I’m sure both practices will become increasingly common, what I have noticed is that when people use email in place of a letter, the standard of presentation sometimes declines.

It seems to me that we could use email instead of letters provided we maintain the degree of formality, the layout and other conventions used in letters. In fact, I used email almost exclusively to deal with communication between my office and job applicants. For example, to acknowledge receipt of their applications, to invite them to interviews, to inform them they had not been successful. My applicants’ information kit and related documents made it clear that email would be the main medium for communicating with them. Everyone preferred it because of the many advantages it has, which include:

1. It is quick, economical and largely effective

2. You can request a read receipt so that you know that your email has arrived at its destination and been opened

3. One email can be sent to multiple addressees without creating additional pieces of paper, envelopes, postage stamps

4. You can ensure that your email is received only by the person to whom it was sent ie, it shouldn’t end up in the wrong
   inbox

True, there are several disadvantages of email, the most obvious of which is that it is not secure. However, for most
business communication, lack of security isn’t an issue. If it is, then there are encryption protocols one can employ.

If you decide to use email

First, make sure that your clients or colleagues are aware that you communicate mainly by email eg, your advertisements, documentation etc can state something like: “Acme Finance prefers to communicate via email”. If people know what to expect, there’s a better chance they will give you their email address and they won’t be aghast at receiving an email from one of the world’s largest or grandest organisations.

Maintain a high standard of communication. Because we use email casually for so many of our messages, it’s easy to fall into
the trap of using sub-standard business communication and including such things as emoticons in our messages … hardly
appropriate for a business email.

If possible, have a template made with your firm’s colours and logo, address and other contact information. Don’t commence
your email with, “Hi guys” or anything other than you would put in a letter eg, “Dear Mrs Carruthers”. Stick to the usual
letter writing conventions and make sure you have a style guide for staff to use and you should find that your communication is well accepted.

If nothing else, your costs for production and distribution will drop substantially and you should also notice an improvement in business efficiency as email speeds up your daily communication.

Copyright 2005 Robin Henry

Robin Henry is a human resources and development specialist, educator and Internet marketer whose online business Desert Wave Enterprises he operates from Central Australia. Robin is author of several
highly popular ebooks that relate to training and winning a government job, details of which can be found here. At present he is on assignment in the United Arab Emirates.

What is the usefulness of having the “fear of public speaking”?

Well at first you might say “nothing”, correct?

Let me help you a bit here.

Don’t most people unconsciously harbor the notion that the fear of public speaking is supposed to:

1. Help them prepare properly for a speech, so that,

2. They will be ready, so that,

3. They will do a good job, so that,

4. They will be successful, so that,

5. They will get a positive and accepting response from the audience, so that,

6. They will feel accomplished, successful, validated, relieved, happy, successful and good about themselves?

In other words if I summarize what has just been said we have the conclusion that:

(A) The fear of public speaking causes one to feel accomplished, successful, validated, relieved, happy, successful and good about themselves.

Now does that resonate with you? If you’re not sure just take a moment and get right into that fear and notice what it does to you.

You probably feel, while you’re in that fear some or all of the following:

Dread, anxious, lacking in self confidence, like running away and hiding, weak, vulnerable, confused and unable to concentrate, absolutely unready, lousy about yourself, like a failure, and so on.

So does that sound like (A) above?

If you look at it closely I think you’ll recognize that it is exactly the opposite.

So if you’re with me so far here’s what you can do if you wish:

1. Place your hand over your heart.

2. As if you are speaking from your heart ask that the false statement (A) be completely purged from your life once and for all.

3. With your hand over your heart ask that the fear of public speaking be purged from your life completely.

4. Now reflect on how you would rather feel and be while you are in front of any audience.

Possible suggestions include: attentive, focused, confident, charismatic, relaxed, light hearted, at peace, calm, happy, joyful, open, in the flow, etc.

5. Now commit yourself, always speaking from your heart, to be this way from now on.

6. Now again place yourself, in your minds eye, in front of that audience again and notice how you feel.

You should notice a palpable difference in yourself.

If the shift is not completely what you desire then it means that you are still carrying unconscious negative memories that feed your fear (See my article on “Emotional Landmines”). These will need to be completely released for you to achieve total resilience and confidence as a public speaker.

If you’d like direct assistance in this direction kindly visit the web link below and arrange your introductory consultation on the telephone with me.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called “Spirituality And Science” (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of “Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation” (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being

Web site: http://www.telecoaching4u.com/IntroConsult.htm

I was going through a box of personal belongings a couple of weeks ago, when I stumbled across some pictures of my 1978 high school graduation. My daughter Vonnie laughed at those pictures and asked me if everyone dressed that way in the old days. The old days? 1978 is now the old days? I guess it’s only fair since I used to look at my dad’s high school year book and laugh, thinking he lived back in the Dark Ages. You reap what you sow I guess. In that same box I happened across a batch of photos of my best friend Brian. We were the inseparable dynamic dual always neck high in mischievous trouble, but never to the point of lawlessness or destruction of any kind. The event I am about to discuss here is one of the most daring of all the stunts we pulled.

Brian called me one night in May of 1978 and read a section from a James Harriet novel, the title of which I cannot recall, about a guy who dressed like a phantom and walked the country side with a lantern scaring the locals. He thought that would be a great stunt for the two of us to pull. What could I say but “Count me in Bro, sounds like a plan!” The setting was perfect for this copy-cat stunt we were planning. The setting was An old two story farm house built in the mid-1800s, a primitive frontier cemetery crowded with spooky looking tombstones, and an old frontier style church house on the far western edge of Livonia, Michigan. What made the atmosphere so fitting was it’s isolation from civilization, out in the middle of nowhere. Nothing but farm land as far as the eye could see.

Brian and his family lived in the old farm house, and his father was the Pastor of the old Church, which had been renovated for regular use. This little church was one of three locations for Trinity Baptist Church, and it was also the location I attended as well. The two lane dirt road that ran by the farm house, cemetery, and church never had much traffic in those days, and since we were planning our mischievous deed for late at night, we knew we were in business.

The plan we had in mind was to sneak out of Brian’s room at around 1:30 AM, and to get inside the church where we could throw on an old monk’s robe I had found a couple years before at a garage sale. Just why someone would have a monk’s robe in their garage sale is beyond me, but I thought it would be novel to own it. Brian’s room was on the far eastern end of the second story of the farm house, and his parent’s room was at the opposite end. We had to make sure that they were fast asleep before we commenced to climb out his window with the help of a big hemp rope. We felt like regular Army Rangers on their way to an exciting top secret adventure, hopefully without bloodshed. We crept through the old cemetery and made our way into the old church where Brian pulled on the monk’s robe. We brought with us a rather large railroad oil lantern that we would use as our prop. I lit the lantern and Brian set out across the road about a hundred yards from the front of the church. The cemetery was just behind the old church, with tall hedges that lined a couple of paths into the woods, it made for a great escape route in the event we had to hightail it away from trouble.

It was about 2:15 AM when I saw the headlights of the first car coming up the road. The excitement was more than I could stand, and when the car got closer, Brian started across the road hunched over carrying the lantern out in front of him. He crossed in front of the car not more than fifty feet when the driver slammed on his brakes. Brian made his way around the back of the church and I opened the door to let him in. We decided to stay put as we unscrewed the fuses in the breaker box. We figured that if anyone got into church, at least they wouldn’t be able to turn on the lights. The car slowly pulled into the driveway and stayed there for what seemed like an eternity. Whoever it was did not attempt to get out of the car. They finally left and we were both in stitches, laughing like a couple of juvenile hyenas. Now it was my turn to spook the next driver.

We waited a while to make sure the previous car didn’t return, and then I made my way across the road into the ditch. The next car came along and once it got close enough I started across the road like a lonesome spirit in search of a home. This time the car stopped in the middle of the road and someone yelled, “Hey you! Hey! Hey who are you?” I made my way up into the Church, but this time whoever it was got out and tried to get into the church. We were a little scared at this point as we opened the cellar door and hid underneath the church in a crawl space. We heard some say, “Let’s get out of here, this is too creepy man!” They took off with gravel flying everywhere. Once again we averted trouble, but just how long could we evade being caught? We called it a night, but vowed we would get back to monkey business the following weekend

The next weekend came, but this time we recruited our good friend Gary, and he had some great tactics to add to our mischief. He thought it might be fun to have two of us cross the road, one with the monk’s outfit, the other with a ghastly looking white robe he had tailored. This thing looked like an outfit right out of a Vincent Price movie, it was perfect. Once again we climbed out Brian’s window and made our way into the church. Brian and Gary assembled in the weeds across the road and we waited. I was peeking around the back of the Church when I saw the headlights of a car, but this time we were in big trouble. It was a Wayne county Sheriff’s Patrol car. Brian and Gary ran for dear life and I was right behind them. The Sheriff’s car pulled into the driveway as we dove through an opening behind the cemetery. Gary took off into a field on the other side of the cemetery, and laid low in a patch of Poison Ivy, while Brian and I made our way into the basement of the farm house where we hid behind the furnace. Sure enough the Officers came to the back of the house and shined flashlights in the basement windows. We were well out of sight, but nonetheless scared to death. We’re certain the Sheriff did not see us go into the basement since we had such a head start, but I’m sure they put two and two together and figured that someone associated with the house played a role. We stayed down in the basement for about an hour until we snuck back out to find Gary. The next day he was covered with Poison Ivy rash and we agreed to lay low for a couple of weeks. To our knowledge, the Sheriff never made contact with Brian’s dad, and we were amazed that they never saw the hemp rope hanging out of the second story of the farm house. If they had, I’m certain they would have gotten Brian’s parents out of bed for an interesting discussion.

Our adventures in the cemetery were an on again, off again activity for about a year and a half until Brian left for college, and we collectively lost interest. Those were fun adventures that I will never forget as long as live. I suppose it’s true what they say about preacher’s kids being some of the biggest trouble makers, oh, and did I mention that my dad was a minister once upon a time as well.

The old farmhouse has been long torn down, and the area of Six Mile and Haggerty Road is completely built up with office buildings, gas stations, and restaurants. The old church house has been converted into a professional theater called Trinity House, but the old cemetery is still there. I can’t help but grin like a jack-o-lantern every time I drive by the location as I reminisce about those crazy days of 1978.

About The Author

All rights reserved. Copyright 2004 - David L. Russell

David Russell completed his MA in Philosophy from the University of Detroit, and his PhD in History, Religion and Philosophy at the Michigan State University. He currently serves as the CEO of Westvon Publishing, dedicated to providing unique educational products. He is the editor of JournalingLife.com, a site dedicated to teaching everyone the importance of journaling and is an accomplished bluegrass musician, playing banjo with the Mike Adams Band in Michigan. He currently resides in Livonia, Michigan where he oversees the operations of Westvon Publishing north.

Westvon Publishing

P.O.Box 501 - Maumee OH 435317

Phone: (419) 250-5096

E-mail: David@Westvon.com

URL: http://www.westvon.com

URL: http://www.journalinglife.com

Sure you have catecholamines - all speakers do. (including Sir Winston Churchill and Presidents Kennedy, Carter, and Reagan.) Those are the chemicals that make you sweat, make your heart beat fast and make your hands shake. Get rid of those chemical and psychological reactions by becoming message-centered and audience-centered, not self-centered.

1 Replace fear and negative noise with positive affirmations. Create new beliefs that nurture you and support you with new ways of thinking. The New Adult You! example: “I am well prepared, and the audience wants me to succeed.”

2. Do a quiet meditation, visualization, or exercise before you speak. Breathe deeply. Deep breathing sends a message to your brain that you have nothing to fear. It calms you down.

3 Who cares if you’re nervous? Researchers have found that most people report noticing little or no anxiety in a speaker. If you are thoroughly prepared, your internal nervousness seldom shows. Prepare 150%.

4.Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Talk out loud, and walk around while you practice. Use the same physical energy you plan to use on the day of your presentation.

The Coach sez. . . practice in front of your mirror .Practice in the car. If you can concentrate while driving, you will be able to pull it from your unconscious when are you in front of the group. Make your points sound spontaneous and conversational.

5. Exercise is an antidote to stress. Arrive early and take a brisk walk for at least five minutes. If it is raining or snowing outside, you can still do some body stretches.

6. Abstain from caffeine and alcohol before you speak. You don’t need more jitters. Always wear your favorite outfit and use attractive colors. Women, go simple on the jewelry. Avoid too much black and white.

7. For trembling hands, place your hands on the side of your chair, and, count to 10 as you try to lift the seat. This is an isometric exercise that works and nobody will notice you doing it.

8. Don’t be perfect. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. No one is perfect in real life. Get the butterflies in your stomach to fly in formation. That’s how you convert your stress into speaking power!

9. Reduce your nervousness by taking several deep breaths immediately before you ‘re introduced. And for you chocoholics, eat some chocolate to relax your vocal chords.

11 If you experience dry mouth, chew your tongue to increase saliva flow. Singers do this. Close your lips and bite down on the entire surface. Always have a glass of tepid (not cold) water nearby.

12 Focus on a friendly face in the audience. Pretend you are having a conversation, rather than giving a speech. Just be yourself.

13 The Coach sez. . .Most of all, enjoy yourself and have fun. SMILE. After all, aren’t you glad to be there? The sign of a mature adult is one who does not take himself too seriously.

14 Here is a vocal warm-up exercise used at the Ryal Academy of Dramatic Arts in London. Say:PaPaPaPa, BaBaBaBa, TaTaTaTa, DaDaDaDa, KaKaKaKa, GaGaGaGa Then do it backwards. (from Robert and Rande Gedaliah)

Get more speaking skills at our “Summer Sizzle” webpage: www.schrift.com/summer_sizzle.htm

©2004 by Sandra Schrift. All rights reserved

Publishing Guidelines: You are welcome to publish this article in its entirety, electronically, or in print fre*e of charge, as long as you include my full signature file for ezines, and my Web site address. Please send a courtesy link or email where you publish to sandra@schrift.com. Thank you.

About The Author

Sandra Schrift 13 year speaker bureau owner and career coach to emerging and veteran public speakers who want to “grow” a profitable speaking business. I also work with business professionals and organizations who want to master their presentations.

To find out How to Become a Highly Paid Professional Speaker, go to http://www.schrift.com/ProfessionalSpeaker/

Join complimentary bi-weekly Monday Morning Mindfulness ezine http://www.schrift.com/monday.htm

If you find your sentences filled with commas, and they wend from one topic to another, then you, like many people, may be guilty of writing run-on sentences.

The run-on sentence is annoying. The run-on is boring. Most important, utilizing run-ons in your work is a sure-fire way of losing your reader.

The run-on works in one instance - if it is part of one of your character’s personality. For instance, if you are writing dialogue spoken by a typical teenage girl, run-ons would be acceptable (”Well, we went, you know, to the mall, and, like, we tried on some clothes and makeup, and then Sheila saw this really cute guy in The Gap, so we went over and like, started talking, and …” you get the picture.)

Curing a mania for run-ons may be a simple as implementing an outline for your work. Break each topic down into logical, organized subtopics and details. Relegate each thought to a single sentence. When a topic or subtopic requires further discussion, create unique sentences containing each of these details (or group related details) after your lead-in sentence.

If your topic ultimately branches out to other major topics, reference those topics in your initial paragraph, but address them in other paragraphs (or chapters.) This acts as a “teaser” to your audience, leaves them wanting more, and motivates them to read on.

These instructions sound like high school stuff, but I recently edited a college-level text written by a Ph D that was fraught with run-ons. The subject matter was economics. The combination was deadly from the standpoint of maintaining consciousness. So for the sake of your readers, form a working relationship with semicolons and periods, and leave run-ons to the Valley Girls.

About The Author

Jean Fritz is the owner and chief editor for JMT Publications (http://jmtpubs.tripod.com), a company specializing in helping self-publishing authors get into print. For more information on self-publication or to subscribe to her free newsletter, Writers’ Notes, visit the JMT Publications website.

jeantype@excite.com

I was feeling pretty low, actually miserable, come to think of it.

It was the night before I was scheduled to deliver a major speech in Las Vegas, and if you’ve ever presented there, you know there are a million distractions. Audiences aren’t always in the best frame of mind when they’re about to hear your ideas at eleven in the morning.

Anyway, I was particularly out of sorts about this presentation, because I was doing it as a favor, more or less, and I just wasn’t looking forward to it. The night before, I decided to leave the hotel and walk the half-mile or so across the street to the next hotel to eat their special steak dinner.

The line was long, so a fellow in front of me asked if I wanted to share a table to get seated earlier, and I agreed, providing he didn’t want to talk. I said it in jest, but given my mood, I was more or less on the level, and he laughed and agreed.

We introduced ourselves, and as it turned out, he was in town to film a major movie, and he had a big role in it, so the conversation wasn’t dull. I mentioned that I had some acting background and told him about my speech the following day, and my foul mood.

He asked if I wanted his advice about it, and I said, sure.

Looking right into my eyes, he said very simply, “Act!”

I didn’t get it.

“Act,” he repeated. “You’re just going to have to go in there and act like you really want to do it. You know how to act, so act enthusiastic!”

Have you ever heard something that is so basic, so simple, that you doubt its validity, even though it makes perfect sense?

This was one of those moments.

He was right, of course. I had forgotten how to act.

I was so busy giving in to my own, genuine feelings, however counterproductive, that I had overlooked the simple fact that there is an alternative.

Instead of forsaking the speech, I should have been faking it!

I don’t mean faking the content. I was more than up to speed with that. I just needed to fake the attitude.

It’s the same, sage advice given by Dale Carnegie: “Act enthusiastic, and you’ll become enthusiastic!”

My college speech teacher, who was one of Carnegie’s first contract instructors, said it this way: “If you’re enthusiastic, an audience will forgive nearly anything. If not, they’ll forgive nothing!”

So, I woke up the next day, adjusted my attitude, and delivered one heck of a speech, if I dare say so. And just tonight, before hearing a chamber orchestra, I listened to a professor discussing Mozart.

His enthusiasm was so overwhelming that I enjoyed his talk immensely, despite the fact that he was disorganized and ran out of time.

Maybe, he was faking it. I’ll never know.

But does it matter?

Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of www.Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service. He is a frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide. A Ph.D. from USC’s Annenberg School, Gary offers programs through UCLA Extension and numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. He is headquartered in Glendale, California, and he can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com