The Sex Advisors

People tend to sense uncertainty to the real meaning behind the word depression, trying to determine the difference between a depressive illness to that of a miserable mood can be tricky at times. In the medical world doctors use the word depression in different terms.
Symptoms of a depressive illness and gloomy dismal feelings are very much like a duplicated source therefore a solid excuse for any confusion.

Almost anyone can suffer from depression some people see this illness as a sign of weakness, how far from the truth that is. Depression is a common ailment and is treatable. Someone who may have in the past experienced a bout of depression can expect the risk of a repeat dose.

Approx 5/10 per cent of the population has had or are suffering from depression.
They say women are more susceptible to suffer than that of the male species.

People intend to question themselves or that of others as to why more are prone to this illness than that of other people. Has it anything to do with an individual’s personality.

Personality types differ greatly but this has nothing to do with why certain people in particular develop the illness. How ever there are slight risk factors that have been known (genetic factors inherited) from parents or their parents.

Mystery lurks behind why some people suffer from this illness but there are ways of identifying why it may have developed in others. Stressful events like bereavement, losing a job or even moving house can riddle you with depression.

Depression, can strike at any time just like that of the common cold. And it is clear how the brain pattern changes when a person is depressed. Modern scans of the brain have deciphered just how hard the brain works and has found that certain parts like the front do not work as expected. It is also found that a patient has higher than what you would call normal levels of stress hormones.

Feelings experienced with depressive illness can stay with the patient for weeks sometimes running into months.

Disorderly Conduct of the brain.

This is a psychological disorder which is hard to understand due to the trail of physical side effects one being total exhaustion. Other known facts are, depressed people dream up to three times more that of the non sufferer.

Major discoveries in psychology has given us hope in having a better understanding of what depression is all about. With the outcome of recent research there are now answers to questions that have baffled a great many in the past

Standing your ground by facing up to what may be the cause behind your discomfort is a step in the right direction. If the death of a loved etc has caused the pain/sorrow then the cure is time, time heals so they say. For every venomous predator namely diseases etc that takes you as prey, remember there is an antidote.

If you have any concerns about yourself or that of another person please talk to your local GP.

My health page you may find useful. The more knowledge you have on depression will help you understand the illness. Be sure to look into all remedies and cures available

www.benidormbeaches.com

Fear of conflict is common.

We are anxious when we recall past quarrels and disagreements that resulted in personal injury, either physical or emotional. We remember feeling frightened, defeated and powerless.

To avoid repeating the experience, we can become passive, agreeable or accepting. We try to please the challenger, so they do not strike out again. We believe we have some power over the other person’s outbursts thinking; "If I change… things will be better."

We may withdraw from the situation, believing the problem will be solved with time. Withdrawal, not talking or avoiding contact can also be a attempt at control. Solutions are not possible with the other person absent.

Acting in these ways will not help the situation improve.

Problems need to be solved to go away. Unresolved power struggles resurface disguised in different situations.

If we verbally and physically beat on others, we have not accepted personal responsibility for our behaviour. We think others control us. Someone else "makes" me angry. We are really saying; "I do not have control over myself."

When we lash out at the ideas others present, we reveal our own anxiety. This insecurity can lead to frightening, overpowering behaviour. Conflict can only be resolved without name calling, hitting, threats of bodily harm and undermining the other person’s self esteem. An atmosphere of safety is necessary.

Each person must gain control over their own behaviour. We must choose to accept responsibility for our thoughts, words and deeds. We have the power to change ourselves!

Identifying a specific problem is the first step to solving it.

Resolving a deep problem often means solving smaller superficial differences first.

We must also let go of the idea that there is always a winner and a loser. When we think we know the one "right" way, we limit our ability to negotiate. Gaining suitable results, requires a struggle to find common ground. All parties involved need to commit to solving the problems.

By sticking to the issues, using examples to make our points and communicating our wants clearly, specific areas needing resolution can be pin pointed. A desire to resolve the difference must be honestly present in each person.

Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed., is a registered marriage and family therapist and consults to families in business on issues related to workplace relationships. She is the author of books on personal growth through travel. http://www.questpublishing.ca

Grief is an integral part of almost everyone’s life. Whenever you go through the loss of a near and dear one, you go through a grief process. Grief is experienced physically and psychologically. Crying is an integral part of grief process. In cultures where crying is acceptable, loss is borne more readily than in those in which crying is discouraged.

When we have lost a near and dear one, it is initially difficult to accept the loss. This is natural. As time passes, the loss becomes easier to bear from a psychological perspective. But emotional expression is still an integral part of grieving. If the person is not allowed to grieve due to societal or family pressures, other problems like depression or anxiety may arise. From Nature’s perspective, once someone has died, it is important that the(unconscious) mind accepts the loss. Once the unconscious mind accepts the loss after going through crying and sadness , life becomes easier.

A simple exercise will bring benefit to all those who want to deal with grief of a loved one.

Exercise: Close your eyes and imagine seeing the lost loved one in front of you. Talk to the person in your mind as if the person was standing in front of you. Treat the image as a real person. Having finished saying what you would like to say, bid the person GOODBYE and see the person go. You will notice feeling like crying or feeling sad.

Do this exercise everyday at least once, preferably before sleeping, till you start to feel comfortable seeing the person go. By that time your sadness will have reduced to a remarkable extent. This exercise can save you many months of counseling and a lot of money if done as advised.

Pradeep K Chadha is a psychiatrist who specialises in helping people with meditation and imagery. He is based in Dublin,Ireland. He is the author of-The Stress Barrier-Nature’s Way To Overcoming Stress, published by Blackhall Publishing, Dublin. His website address is: http://www.drpkchadha.com

Often people say things like, well I am not a rocket scientist so what did you expect. Interesting comment, but you could be if you wanted to be. It is a pretty accepted fact that the human brain is completely underutilized and is capable of so much more. Some studies say that humans only use 20 or 30 % of our brain capacity at the most.

Indeed when one asks; “If we are not using all of our brains, then why? Is there a fix? What inhibits us from thinking on a higher level?”

Such comments are interesting in that in itself we are limiting our question. Is asking why are we not using our whole brain? Why stop there? Why not use everything all around you including your brain for higher cognition. Use the energy, material all around to transmit, vision and see everything everywhere. Perhaps it is the hang-up of self or the way one defines self as only that which is within the body we call self.

I sometimes wonder why humans do not think at higher levels and it seems the only reason is not because they can’t but either because they won’t, don’t believe they can, have the wrong intake of chemicals, food, less oxygen then needed, background frequency pollution or because well they do not have to in order to fulfill a safe level of existence. Choosing the easiest and most barrier free direction of travel; that is to say choosing always above all else; “The easiest way.” Think on this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

You don’t have to suffer in silence. In most cases of panic attack, it usually starts with depression. A female reporter in Hong Kong who successfully juggled the demands of writing for publications around the world suddenly suffered panic attack. She often had panic attacks as she was overwhelmed by feelings of isolation, hopelessness, inadequacy and failure. She would always excuse herself and pretended to have urgent private calls to make so that she could get out and calm down.

A cartoonist for a famous Japanese magazines; suddenly hit a dry spell in 1986 and she was afraid to get out of bed in the morning. She stopped eating and lost seven kilos within a few days. She was left without getting any assignments for a month and spent her time lying in bed, smoking and drinking and was overwhelmed with thoughts of dying. Both the female reporter and cartoonist were suffering from clinical depression.

There are millions of people like them and they kept the illness to themselves. In Japan alone there are more than six millions people suffering from depression according to Dr Takahashi Toru of the Toru Clinic in Tokyo. It is estimated that one in 13 people aged 24 to 64 suffered from depression according to a study done by Singapore National Mental Health survey.

We seldom hear about depression just thirty years ago but the world is different now. People were different then, but presently many human beings have lost their value of life. Many have lost their conscience and killing is everywhere. People live in fear from many kinds of threats and even in the comfort of their homes, danger is there. There is no peace even to just go marketing for fresh vegetables. A bomb may explode anytime, anyplace.

Financial security is one of the main causes for depression. Jobless people or those hardly can make end meet, are usually victims of depression which can after some time of suffering start to have panic attacks. Depressive disorders range from dysthymia - low grade, chronic depression - to bipolar disorder, or manic depression, which causes extreme swings between depressive lows and manic high. Depression remains widely misunderstood and sufferers lead a double life. One minute full of confidence and another minute worse than a little mouse when panic attack. Depression is a taboo among Chinese and if people know that you are depressed, they will avoid you.

I should say broken heart is the worst mental blues and almost everyone gets the blues once in a lifetime. Those who have not experience it are lucky or maybe they have never fallen in love before. They will not be able to grasp the anguish depression brings. It’s so emotionally intense that it paralyses you and says one sufferer, “You never know when it will end, the pain is so overwhelming that you want to end it all.”

People will sometimes give advice with the best intentions for broken heart but says Siti Mohammad, a young female accountant who has lived with depression for much of her life: “Sometimes my relatives will tell me to look at the positive side of things. They say, ‘You have to be strong and believe in God.’ They make it sound as if I could just snap out of it. If it was that simple, I wouldn’t be like this.”

Depression is often inadequately treated or not treated at all because the truth of broken heart may not be admitted by the sufferers. For instance, many Malays believe the emotions lie in the liver and will complain about stomach soreness rather than admit to depression. Among the Chinese, the heart is often seen as the source of emotions, so they complain about chest discomfort. Singapore National University’s Kua says these cultural factors lead to misdiagnosis or no diagnosis at all in as many as one-third of cases.

For the elderly, physical ailments can mask symptoms of depression (it is often confused with Alzheimer’s disease), and there is a belief, even in the medical community, that depression is simply a fact of an older person’s life. According to a study conducted in the 1980s by Dr Lee Aik Hoe, president of the Malaysian Mental Health Association, showed that three-quarters of people who had attempted suicide also suffered from depression.

Rose Lee’s depression nearly killed her. As a teenager, she tumbled into a black pit and said, “I was severely depressed - the pain was terrible. It seemed logical to kill myself.” Richard Ng of Kuala Lumpur said he lost his father to suicide. “He displayed signs of depression - being withdrawn and losing his appetite - signs that I recognized but did nothing about, but when he committed suicide, I was shattered.”

The road to recovery is a tough one but it can be treated. If it is not because of broken heart, then the chances of recovery is good with medication. If it is because of broken heart, then there is no medicine that can cure a broken heart. There are many drugs that physicians can prescribe and certain antidepressants really work effectively so as to allow the sufferers to get on with life. But drug may have side effects like insomnia and sexual dysfunction, professional help is advised in such a case to take the right type and also avoid the risk of taking an overdose.

One of the best rescues is interpersonal and cognitive counselling. Therapy can help to change a patient’s thinking and reappraise their external circumstances. Interpersonal therapy focuses on specific-related problems, while cognitive therapy tries to counter the feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness that plague those who are depressed. In Malaysia the “Befrienders” is doing an excellent voluntarily job to make life worth living. The 24-hour helpline, modelled on the Samaritans in the United Kingdom, is one of the oldest services in Asia. It has more than 200 volunteers and fielded 24,000 calls a year.

Suicide is a grave sin according to spiritual teachings in almost every religion. Certain religion says that if a person commits suicide, he will also commit suicide for his next seven future lives. I had a relative who committed suicide many years ago. She was one of the most beautiful women in my hometown and married to one of the richest men there. Very fortunate during her younger days because of her beauty, but when her husband passed away early in life, she was cheated of everything she possessed by a conman who only wanted her properties. Unable to take the pain of her broken heart and loss of all her possessions, she took her life.

Author: T.A Chew

T.A Chew had gone through a very severe broken heart in 1993. Fortunately six months before it happened, Goddess of Mercy showed him a miracle and he realized that Heaven loves him more and it is unconditional love. He understands very well the pain and it is only through doing good deeds and meritorious works that broken hearts can be mended fast. Website: http://www.white-sun.com

Is the World Ready for a One World Government? How about a one-world franchise system? Well it makes a lot of sense to have everyone on the same page and it is indeed time to upgrade or redo the United Nations. We can see issues there too. Consider if you will the failures of the League of Nations and World War II. It is time now to overhaul and start a new.

Can we merge the first world nations with the third world, can we take what we have learned and cookie cut it correctly and still deal with third world corrupt leaders or do we have to take another tact on the matter? Can we design a perfect system with stair step stages to bring them all into the first world?

Are we prepared to embrace the challenges that lie ahead and the fore coming events; can we can make it work? Many discuss this and they tell us of the slums of the World to the dynamics of huge multi-national conglomerates such as Cargil, Schlumberger, Intel, GE, Daimler-Chrysler, P & G, CitiCorp, Exxon-Mobile, Union Carbide, AT & T, Philip Morris, Daewoo, Boeing, Time Warner, Wal-Mart, Microsoft and a slew of new Tech and Communication Companies. There is a lot of diversity out there, can we actually make it all gel and work like a Swiss Watch?

Well can it be done? Is it worth doing, will we be happy with what we created or should we simply allow mankind to repeat and take its chances and drive us into another future world conflict and start all over again? Interesting topic; you decide. Consider this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

“Ring, ring.” The crisis operator answers the phone to a woman pleading to let her daughter know that she loves her. The woman spent her day writing letters to friends and loved ones, expressing her thoughts and emotions. From the loaded gun on the table to the rope hanging from the attic, it was a well-thought out plan (Lewis, Pamela, 2003).

Have you ever felt life was not worth living? Have you wished you were dead? Have you had any thoughts of taking your own life? It began October of 1998, while my husband and I were on our way home from the grocery store. The cellular phone rings. My husband answers. He then tells the caller that we are on our way there. His tone of voice sounded frightened and worried. I repeatedly asked, “What is going on? Why are you driving so fast?”

“Something has happened to your mother!”, he exclaimed. I had fifteen minutes to prepare myself for the worst, yet I did not know exactly what I was preparing for. As we arrived to the scene, numerous police vehicles, two ambulances, the local rescue squad, private investigators, negotiators, and the SWAT team had one half of a mile from my house blocked off. As we came to a stop, I jumped out of the car crying and screaming, while trying to find answers as to what has happened. A police officer then pulled me aside. The young man explained that my mother was attempting suicide due to her depression.

As the number one public health problem, four to 8 percent of the U.S. population experience or have experienced a clinical depressed syndrome (Klerman, Gerald, pg. 27). Depression is a mental illness that requires immediate medical attention. Because depression is so widespread, it is often called the ‘common cold’ (Koop, Everett, 1996). The difference between a cold and depression is that depression, if not treated, can lead to the death of an individual.

Depression occurs when nerve cells, or neurons, fail to communicate with each other due to a chemical imbalance in the brain (Koop, Everett, 1996). A neuron is a specialized cell that conducts messages through the nervous system. Two neurons communicate with each other by electrical impulses or signals. The point of communication where electrical signals carry a message between two neurons is called a synapse. Separating the sending neurons and receiving neurons from the axon terminal are tiny, fluid-filled gaps called synaptic clefts. Chemicals called neurotransmitters dock at receptor sites, thus igniting the electrical signal of that neuron. After the signal is delivered, the neurotransmitters float back to the neuron that sent them. This process is called reputake.

Researchers have found many causes or reasons for depression. Usually, depression is caused by a deficiency in the neurotransmitter serotonin or norepinephrine (Morgan, Marie, pg. 75). Serotonin helps regulate mood, sleep, aggression, and appetite. Norepinephrine affects wakefulness, alertness, and also appetite. In some cases hereditary, personality traits, stress, and lack of supportive relationships are linked to depression. Other causes for depression are helplessness, sense of loss, isolation, and unresolved anger (Koop, Everett, 1996). Through your eyes, you see the world as a series of positive, neutral, or negative events. These events are interrupted through a group of thoughts that constantly flow through your mind. This is called your internal dialogue. Created by your thoughts is your feelings or mood. Before an emotional response can be experienced what you are feeling or what is happening to you (Burns, David, pg. 30). Therefore, the negative thoughts that process through your mind are actually the cause of your emotions.

Your negative thoughts, or cognitions, are the most overlooked symptoms of depression. Symptoms are feelings or behaviors that disturb normal functioning (Heitler, Susan, pg.47). A depressed person may show signs, such as a loss of pleasure or interest in usual activities, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, decrease in the ability to think or concentrate, and a loss of energy and appetite (Koop, Everett, 1996). The assessments of symptoms include specifying troubled behaviors and feelings, the history of the symptoms and diagnosing the problem (Heitler, Susan, pg. 49). Other symptoms include crying excessively, negative thoughts about the future and even thoughts of death or suicide (Koop, Everett, 1996).

Suicide is the deliberate taking of one’s own life, which accounts for 5 percent of clinically depressed patients (Burns, David, pg. 383). Suicide rates have increased in children and adolescents since the 1990’s (Burns, David, pg. 9).

Why do depressed individuals often think of suicide? Persuasive and pessimistic visions dominate their thoughts. To them, life seems to be a nightmare. When a depressed person thinks of the past, she only remembers moments of suffering and pain (Burns, David, pg. 384). Researchers have proven that the unrealistic sense of hopelessness is one of the most important factors in the plans for a serious suicidal wish or thought (Burns, David, pg. 385). A famous myth remains today: An unsuccessful suicide attempt is simply a means of getting attention and is not to be taken seriously (Burns, David, pg. 387). The fact is that all attempts are to be taken very seriously. Because a depressed individual’s pain and suffering may feel unbearable and never ending, she may conclude that suicide is the only escape. In reality, medical treatment and attention will help the individual overcome depression.

Many researchers have described therapy as an opportunity for people to deal with their conflict of everyday living (Heitler, Susan, pg. 7). Consulting with a professional, such as a psychologist or a psychiatrist, can be a nice beginning for treatment. With a Ph.D. in psychology and other related fields, a psychologist serves the public through research, testing, and psychotherapy (Hauck, Paul, pg. 134). Psychotherapy is an important means of treatment for certain types of emotional or mental disorders. Usually working with the patient alone, a psychologist allows her to express feelings and emotions of life’s battles. At the end of each session, the psychologist gives simple, step by step advice to the patient. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specializes in counseling clients with psychiatric, neurologic, and medical conditions (Reference International Publishers, LTD, pg. 18). During a period of one to six visits, the doctor will be discussed with the patient and followed upon regularly (Reference International Publishers, LTD, pg. 187). A psychiatrist also prescribes and administers medication, usually antidepressants, with the referral from a psychologist (Hauck, Paul, pg.135).

Antidepressants are drugs that are prescribed to treat depression and some anxiety disorders. The most widely prescribed drugs, tricyclic antidepressants, enhance the potency of the brain’s neurotransmitters in the synapse. Some agents of tricyclic drugs are Imipramine, Desipramine, Amitriptyline, Nortriptyline, Protriptyline, and Doxepin (Burns, David, pgs. 430-432). Side effects, such as dry mouth, constipation and blurred vision, disappear after the first few days (Burns, David, pg. 432). MAO inhibitors cause elevations in the levels of amine neurotransmitters, thus, correcting the chemical imbalance in the brain. The most commonly prescribed trade names for MAO inhibitors are Marplan, Nardil, and Parnate. Similar to tricyclic drugs, the side effects of MAO inhibitors are dry mouth, lightheadedness, trouble urinating, a rash, and constipation or loose stools (Burns, David, pg. 440). MAO inhibitors, if not taken properly can produce serious effects. Blood pressure may rise of certain foods or drugs containing a substance called tyramine, which interferes with the brain’s ability to regulate blood pressure, while taking a MAO inhibitor (Burns, David, pg. 441). Lithium carbonate is another antidepressant drug used to treat severe depression. Although lithium is simply salt, it does have many side effects, such as hand tremors, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, that usually taper off within a week or soon after (Morgan, Marie, pg. 78). Long term effects of lithium include blackouts, headache, slurred speech, weight changes, fatigue, and hypotension (Morgan, Marie, pg. 70). Valium is an antidepressant that suppresses anxiety and covers up symptoms rather than getting at the causes (Morgan, Marie, pg. 78).

Although addictive and may worsen depression, some doctors use minor tranquilizers or sedatives to treat anxiety and nervousness (Burns, David, pg. 444). Sleeping pills are used to help treat insomnia. These pills become highly addictive as they disrupt normal sleep patterns and greatly worsen the sleeping problem. For example, my mother was given the drug, Ambien, because she was having trouble falling and staying asleep. She awoke often only to take another pill because she was still not able to sleep well. Ambien gave her short-term amnesia and disrupted her sleep instead of helping her sleep. She ended up in the emergency room for an accidental overdose (Lewis, Pamela, 2003). I almost lost her again to a drug that was supposed to help her. There are at least a dozen different antidepressants that are effective for some patients, while for others, the results may be disappointing or harmful. Reoccurrences of depression can happen at any time a person stops taking medication as prescribed just because they ‘think’ they are better. In some cases a depressed person may need an increase or even a change in medication after an evaluation with a doctor or therapist. In the near future, researchers will hopefully advance the understanding of antidepressant drugs and how they affect the human brain.

It sometimes, seems that the more hopeless and severe the depression was, the more extraordinary and delicious the taste of happiness and self-esteem is. As you begin to feel better, the pessimistic thoughts will go away like the melting of the winter snow when spring arrives. You may even wonder how you ever could believe such thought in the first place. Because the change of negative to more neutral or positive thinking can be so dramatic, a person may be convinced that the depression has vanished forever. But that simply is not true because there is a mood disorder that remains. A depressed person who feels better must understand what caused the depression and be able to apply and reapply self-help techniques whenever needed. Acquiring self-confidence and self-esteem is a must to getting better. Focusing on happy memories and keeping positive thoughts will decrease the recurrence of depression. Lowering one’s standards to prevent disappointment and learning from one’s own mistakes will also help a person overcome depression.

My mother has beat the battle of depression after six months in Zellar, the old local mental institution, and years of learning how to cope with life’s emotional stress. Trying to resume her original lifestyle was the most difficult obstacle to getting better. Her suicidal attempt was reported on the front page of the Peoria Journal Star. Not only did they have the wrong information about the depressing event, they also labeled her and tried to press charges against her for trying to take her own life. Returning to work, she was stereotyped as ‘crazy’ or ‘insane’ instead of strong and hopeful for fighting the horrifying condition. It has been five years since her breakdown and she now lives a wonderful and happy life. She states, “I am proud to be here today!” (Lewis, Pamela, 2003). If you know anyone who shows any signs of depression or has thoughts of death, help them. Be their friend and give them positive reinforcement. Show them they are loved and needed in your life and many others. Most important, get them help because not every depressed person knows they are depressed, therefore they may not be able to help themselves.

References:
Burns, David D., MD. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Avon Books Printing. New York, New York: 1980.

Hauck, Paul A. Overcoming Depression. The Westminster Press.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: 1987.

Heitler, Susan M., Ph.D. From Conflict to Resolution.W.W. Norton and Company, Inc. New York, New York: 1990.

Klerman, Gerald L. Interpersonal Psychotherapy of Depression. Jason Aronson, Inc. Northvale, New Jersey: 1984.

Koop, Everett C., MD. Depression at Time of Diagnosis. Time Life Medical. Patient Education Media, Inc. New York, New York: 1996.

Lewis, Pamela. Interview. Edelstein, Illinois: 2003.
Morgan, Marie. Breaking Through: How to Overcome Housewives’ Depression.

Winston Press, Inc. Minneapolis, Minnesota: 1983.

Reference International Publishers, Ltd. Good Housekeeping: Family Health and Medical Guide. Hearst Books. New York, New York: 1979, 1980.

Jamie Herold

“The increasing availability of new information and communication technology is one of the key ingredients that make a high-involvement management approach possible. This capability, more than any other, makes it possible for individuals to become self-managing, to be involved in the business, and to control processes and operations…” Edward Lawler III, The Ultimate Advantage: Creating the High-Involvement Organization

Shortly after Vanessa, our second daughter was born, my wife Heather was talking with six year old Chris, our only son, about how much she liked having a boy in the family. “If you like little boys so much, how come you brought home another girl?” Chris tearfully rebutted.

Chris and his sister Jenn had been hoping for a younger sibling of their own sex. When Vanessa was born, Chris felt like he’d lost. He didn’t understand the process. He assumed his Mom and Dad chose the sex of their kids.

The less we know, the more we suspect. Like Chris, people in our organizations will make up their own explanations for events and actions they don’t understand. These can be fanned by the winds of rumor and innuendo into scary scenarios of impending doom. At times of dislocating change, those breezes quickly become blustery gales that create raging infernos if trust levels are low. Organizations abhor information vacuums. In the absence of information, people will make up their own explanations.

Managers routinely underestimate the amount and quality of education and communication required to make changes and improvements. They fall victim to our human tendency to judge others by their actions, but to judge ourselves by our intentions. Since most managers intend to make nothing but beneficial changes and improvements, they often fail to appreciate the explanations others are giving for their actions.

If people don’t buy into why changes or improvements are necessary, they will fight and resist them. Before people will want to improve, they need to agree with why they need to improve. Then they are ready to learn how to improve. That means treating everyone on our team and in our organizations as partners. Strong partnerships are built on keeping each other informed. Effective partners communicate frequently and clearly.

If we want people on our team or in our organizations to behave like business partners, we need to treat them that way. We need to treat them like responsible adults and give them a deep and continuous understanding of what’s going on in the business. They can’t become self-disciplined and self-managed without it. With little knowledge and scanty information people won’t in fact they can’t take responsibility. Since information is power, the only way of empowering or sharing power is by sharing information.

Organizational changes and improvements are very difficult to make happen if the people in the organization who’ll make it all work don’t understand what’s to be done and why. For example, having a clear Focus and Context (vision, values, and purpose) isn’t worth much if people don’t understand it. If the organization or team’s Focus and Context isn’t well communicated it will be dead, lifeless and unfulfilled.

Commitment and understanding go hand-in-hand. Only by understanding (and feeling aligned with) the organization’s larger Focus and Context will people thrive and grow. Powerful leaders constantly clarify team or organization Focus and Context and keep people excited about working within it.

A constantly improving and highly effective team or organization is transparent. The why, who, what, and how of decisions made and actions taken are obvious to everyone. The culture is marked by openness and informality. Information is widely shared. That means lots of education combined with powerful communication systems, processes, and practices. It’s one of the keys to organizational learning and innovation.

Jim Clemmer is a bestselling author and internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop/retreat leader, and management team developer on leadership, change, customer focus, culture, teams, and personal growth. During the last 25 years he has delivered over two thousand customized keynote presentations, workshops, and retreats. Jim’s five international bestselling books include The VIP Strategy, Firing on All Cylinders, Pathways to Performance, Growing the Distance, and The Leader’s Digest. His web site is http://www.clemmer.net/articles.

As a corporate HR person for over twenty years, I had a great chance to observe organizations with an anthropologist’s perspective. From the moment you walk through the revolving door into a business office until the time you leave, you pick up a hundred little clues as to how the organization operates and what it values. For internal communicators, it’s just as important to pay attention to these subtle messages as it is to design an award-winning communications strategy. Here’s why.

When you ask yourself “What are we saying throughout this organization, and what do we want to say?” you will quickly come up with a list of themes, initiatives, and values that you currently promote. You’ll look at employee communication materials, internal newsletters, your Intranet site, and lots of other vehicles that you hope are doing the “heavy lifting” of internal communication for you. You’ll be able to spot the gaps between what you DO say and what you WANT to say to your team. So far, so good.

But evaluating the published materials and beautifully designed website content misses the point. Employees are very sophisticated when it comes to evaluating internal messaging. They can quickly spot the difference between the Party Line and the Way Things Really Work. That’s why internal communicators who focus on the formal vehicles risk missing the channels that speak most loudly to employees.

For instance, you can talk about risk-taking until you’re blue in the face, featuring risk-taking employees in your internal newsletter and giving awards to people who went out on a limb. But the first time your employees hear about the CEO bashing a person (or worse, firing him) for taking the wrong risk, your effort has gone to waste. Not only that - you look like hypocrites, for saying one thing and practicing another.

So am I asking your internal communications chief to control the CEO’s behavior? Of course not. That’s not realistic, but what IS realistic is to call attention to the gaps between what is said to be valued, and what is actually valued, throughout the organization. Consistency (HR people call it Alignment) is the key.

This is why - speaking of risk-taking - leading the internal communications function is not for the faint of heart. If you lack the guts to tell the emperor when he’s naked, you should find another profession.

Here’s another example of mis-alignment in internal communications. Your company may view itself as fast-paced, team-oriented and customer-focused: nearly every company does. It only takes one old-school, preachy “don’t you dare” memo from HR to blow that perception. The first time your employees read a typical, thoughtless “expense reports filed more than 30 days late will not be processed” bonehead HR memo, your rah-rah internal communications efforts turn to dust. People aren’t stupid. They know where the rubber meets the road.

This is why effective internal communications go stem to stern - from the Podium to the Paystub. Every communication vehicle, from an all-hands email blast to the CEO’s Town Hall meeting, should stem from the same set of goals and values. It’s not hard to meet this goal, if the top leadership team gives the word. It doesn’t even require the Messaging Police to review every memo and Intranet page. It just requires consistent, thoughtful education and awareness-building about the price of off-message communication.

In a typical organization, the biggest trouble spots in Podium to Paystub communication-alignment efforts are IT, Finance, HR and Facilities. These staff guys have grown up with the idea that they get to set policies and communicate them, period. Having that orientation, these managers might not immediately see that their well-intentioned, kneejerk policy-implementation efforts might derail your carefully honed communications plan.

For instance, I worked in one company that preached the virtues of global, 24/7, virtual collaboration. We’re Where You Are, was the message. Except, one day the Accounting department announced that it expected invoices from all departments to be hand-delivered to Accounting in order to speed payment. As if! That edict completely undermined the “virtual” theme, and was quickly withdrawn. It takes a new mentality - one that the Internal Communications chief can reinforce in every interaction with fellow leaders - to move an organization from disjointed, at-odds communication to a set of aligned voices, singing in harmony.

And it’s amazing when it happens. Employees begin to believe the messaging, and to incorporate it into their thinking. You’ll see the results in customer interactions and in the speed of change efforts. Customers will perceive it. Job candidates and vendors will pick up on it, too. But it’s an all-out effort: far past the language in your lovely printed pieces, you’ve got to touch the paystub, the podium, and everything in between.

Liz Ryan is a former Fortune 500 HR executive, a workplace expert and an international speaker and writer on the new-millennium workplace. She is the CEO and founder of WorldWIT, the global online community for professional women at http://www.worldwit.org Liz lives in Boulder, Colorado.

Everyone has days when they are down, worn out and just not feeling all that happy.

That’s OK, you need to have days like this, otherwise how would you know when you are happy. You need to have something to contrast your happiness with. What is black without white?

Even though you know that sadness is a part of life, let’s try to make it a small part of life.

With that said, here are a few tips to help you feel better when you are feeling down in the dumps. They are easy to do, easy to practice every day and they work!

1. Stand up straight, sit up straight. When your body is in alignment your energy can flow and when your energy is flowing freely, you can flow.

2. Smile! Yes, just smile. Easy to do and effective.

3. Repeat positive affirmations. Things like “I feel good”, “Positive energy flows through my body”, “I see the good in all”.

4. Listen to some music that you like. It doesn’t have to be anything specific, just something you enjoy. Certain types of music work better than others, but experiment and see what works for you. Studies have shown that Classical music and new age music work best.

5. Take some time out for yourself, relax and read a book, do something for yourself.

6. Meditate. Meditation is an excellent habit to develop. It will serve you in all that you do. If you are one who has a hard time sitting still, then try some special meditation CDs that coax your brain into the meditative state. Just search for “Meditation music” on Google or Yahoo and explore.

Our outside work is simply a reflection of our inside world. Remember there is no reality just your perception of it. Use this truth to your advantage. Whenever you are sad, realize that it is all in your mind and you do have the power to change your perception.

These tips will lift you up when you are down, but don’t just use them when you are sad. Try and practice them everyday, make them a habit. You will be surprised at how these simple exercises will keep the rainy days away.

On a final note, if you are in a deep depression that you can’t seem to shake, please go see a doctor. This is your life and don’t take any chances.

Dr. Isaac Schumann brings to you a life time of experience in the mental health field
www.depressionhelpguides.com